The Amazing Adventures
of Sara Corel
A novel by Toomey
on Chapter 11: Chicago
Just finished chapter 11 of Susan and
I have to admit, I don't feel comfortable
about Jimmy Oldsen. He's up to something. Hope it works out but…I …..don't
Sara is becoming a bit of an enigma.
You're placing her into disparate groups where she's accepted without developing the
idea over time. Somehow it all works just fine, giving the reader (me) the unusual
sensation of discovering her living in a place and in a way I didn't expect. Sort
of like storytelling as an aside. "Psst, did you hear the latest about
Sara Corel?" <smile>
By the way, 'Roundball' was a
fast paced, well- constructed story. I could feel the pace of that game. It should
never take longer to describe an action than it takes for the action to happen. Your
chapter 10 surely shows how to do that right.
I've really come to appreciate your style
of writing very much. I like the way everything flows so nicely. In spite of however
this may sound like a writer's cliché', it is a 'good read'. Looking
forward to your next chapter!
I also took a look at the web sites you
mentioned and was very impressed by the professional quality of quite a few.
Understandable considering your line of work! <grin> I was especially knocked
out by your band's web site. Spent a little time on that puppy! You have a really
good eye for color and style, Toomey.
We used to be visited occasionally by a
great gentleman from the University of Kansas, a professor there and published
author. Many times he mentioned that creative people excel in multiple modes of
expression: art, music, literature, etc.
He was right.
Oh, just so you don't think I'm just
blowing sunshine up your kilt, I found a typo in chapter 11. I forget where though.
See you later!
© Patrick Hill, 2000